And 2 winners among you fantastically grown up health conscious Club 17ers!  LaLa and Emily!!! No, not my sister, LaLa, a different LaLa - who is a master recycler in the making, and who is having a rough week. Emily is of Sassy Lime fame, and was one of the first blogs I ever read.

And pfft. Of course there was no random drawing for a winner this month, you know me too well. If there is a one of you out there who is having that sort of 'oh no, i might have found something' sort of thing, then you are automatically the winner and receive my heartfelt prayers and whatever prize i can send. So, Emily and LaLa, if you will be so brave, please email me your addresses. I will destroy them immediately upon sending you something cute, because that's what I do.

(That sound you hear is the faint laughter of my sister, who knows how impossible I am at keeping track of any addresses for any length of time at all.)

And 2 winners among you fantastically grown up health conscious Club 17ers!  LaLa and Emily!!! No, not my sister, LaLa, a different LaLa - who is a master recycler in the making, and who is having a rough week. Emily is of Sassy Lime fame, and was one of the first blogs I ever read.

And pfft. Of course there was no random drawing for a winner this month, you know me too well. If there is a one of you out there who is having that sort of 'oh no, i might have found something' sort of thing, then you are automatically the winner and receive my heartfelt prayers and whatever prize i can send. So, Emily and LaLa, if you will be so brave, please email me your addresses. I will destroy them immediately upon sending you something cute, because that's what I do.

(That sound you hear is the faint laughter of my sister, who knows how impossible I am at keeping track of any addresses for any length of time at all.)

It's already been a month since we did this, ladies! Lots of cities are hosting Race for the Cure - are any of you involved?  I haven't signed us up yet, since I was trying to decide on a weekend trip to stalk a friend's booksigning.

It's the 17th, and that means that we all do those beloved self breast exams and then come back here and leave a comment saying yes! did it!  yea me! 

For more information on how or why we do this, click here.

And because y'all ask occasionally, I'm including this (previously posted) explanation of why this matters so much to me personally:

Q: Why do I do these monthly reminder/nag sessions? I mean, why is it SUCH a big deal? Well. I'll tell you.

A: When Caden-3yr was a tiny little 3 month old, I found a lump. I never did self breast exams, and so i had no idea how long it had been there. That one thought nagged at me in the night for weeks afterwards. It was about pea sized, hard, and the edges of it were rough. None of those things were good. There are a lot of lumps and bumps and cysts and things that can be quite harmless - especially for a nursing mom. But rough edges were notably bad.

I had so many doctor's appts over the next weeks. It just dragged on and on. The surgeon I saw knew immediately it wasn't good. After a long conversation, we decided the next step would be an 'ultrasound guided biopsy.' There was already one ultrasound of it, but it had been lost somehow between doctor's offices.

I was a wreck. I remember trying to live minute to minute. Constant prayer over the next minute. And I was too scared to really ask God to just fix it. I couldn't even pray that. I focused on what would happen, and the things i should do in case i died and left my daughter and two sons without a mother. I had no peace whatsoever that everything would work out. None. I was numb.

Mike did pray, though. He prayed a lot. And one day he said something that really, really made me angry. He said that he'd prayed and God had answered him that 'it would be good.' GOOD? Excuse me?  HOW? That really ticked me off, and anytime I worried and Mike tried to reassure me with that particular answered prayer, I got even more mad and worried.

Life was so hard those 6 or 8 weeks. Then we went in for that ultrasound guided biopsy.

And it was gone. Magically, completely, utterly... gone.

They had all said it wasn't the sort of lump that would disappear. Certainly not like it did.It hadn't changed at all in any way since it was first detected. And that wasn't good either.

But it did disappear. The doctors were in shock. My surgeon, when she heard about it, was in total disbelief and had her office call me so that she could look for it herself. After all, it just wasn't the sort that would go away. And she would know.

Mike and I cried in the waiting room, hugged, and walked out into the parking lot of the hospital, stunned. And then Mike, with tears streaming down his face, said "Kels, what did God say?"

"That it would be good?"

"Yeah."

And I agreed. It was good. But I was missing something.

Mike laughed and said, "But what is today?"

"Friday." I wasn't getting whatever it was he wanted me to see.

"No. It's Good Friday."

And it was. The Friday before Easter, Good Friday, of 2004 was especially good.

(Thank You, God for that answer to Mike's prayer - I didn't understand or appreciate it at all then, but it's pretty special to me now.)

After that I resolved to do those monthly self breast exams. If I ever had to go through that again, i wanted to KNOW how long it had been there. That piece of information would have set my mind at ease. It would have been so much better to be able to think, 'huh. there's a lump. scary, but it's at least i know it is new. let's call a doctor.'  i hope none of you ever find a lump. But more than that, i hope that if you do, you can say, 'at least I know it is very new. I caught this - whatever it is - as early as I possibly could.' 

I know what some of you are thinking. It's the reason I haven't written this before now, to be honest. Compared to so many other stories that end tragically, or involve an actual drawn out fight with cancer, my story might not sound like much. And maybe it isn't. But my point is that it was pretty horrific anyway, and if I can be more proactive, and bug you to be - then i will.

Thanks for letting me. I know I can be obnoxious about it.

The Super Short, it's 1:30 in the morning when i'm writing this on the 13th, I'M SO TIRED version of Club 17.

(I'm really away right now, off with friends and family conquering the wake. Or trying to learn to wakeboard. Doesn't sound as impressive that way, does it? ) 

So! In my absence, please remember to do your BSE, and come back and say you did. Any questions? Just click that link a couple sentences back, and if you still have a question, you might ask Shalee. She has a crown on her Club 17er, so she's in charge and taking names until I get back.  (Hey Shalee, psst. You're in charge.)

Tomorrow I will be heading to the post office to mail the fantastic prize for Jan (which is SO LATE), and also the prize for...

Tas!  Her comment on the last post, in part:

Well, I am not going to do one today, but hopefully I can still get entered into the contest.

I had surgery on July 10 to remove the lump that has been in there for a little bit, it's still a little tender and healing and what not.

I confess. Normally I have a highly scientific process by which I choose a winner. But after that comment? All that went out the window and I decided Tas had to win no matter what. If you can't win a Club 17 drawing after recovering from lump removal surgery... well, that just wouldn't be right.  Keep us updated, Tas, and rest up!

For all the rest of you, i have a fantastic consolation prize. You know when I told you about zafu?  They find you amazing jeans that really fit YOU, remember? Now!  Now they do the same thing with... BRAS!  Yep. My least favorite item to shop for, hands down. So you have to answer a few very personal questions, and then the site tells you which ones will fit, and exactly how they will fit.

(Once you get your results be sure to click on "How does it fit you?" or something like that. That's a very important thing to remember, because it will tell you if it's a good match for you, but also if it happens to be very painful to wear.  And really, why are those bras listed at all? Can't we just destroy all the 'very painful to wear' bras, or at least not suggest them on websites?)

Ready?  Okay, go!

Okay, it's really bad to blog that you're having your veins filled with foam by Dr. Crocodile, and then forget to blog again for awhile afterwards. Sorry about that.  I'll get back to it in a minute.

But for now! Some of you were fantastic enough to do your BSE's and then leave a comment saying you did. YEA FOR YOU!

And especially, YEA FOR JAN!!  (I've met her and I love her and am SO pleased she won. And? She's Jeana's mom.) I'll be emailing you shortly, Jan, bugging you for your address.

                                           ***

I'm going to bore you to pieces now with the details of my Vein Thing. Why? Because so many of you asked me to, and I aim to please.

Ahem.

The Vein Thing was not that bad. Mike and I showed up for my 1 pm appointment. We waited in one waiting room, then another, and were in with the doctor by 1:15. We were in the truck leaving the parking lot at... 1:45. 

Dr. Crocodile came in, filled a syringe with liquid that he then managed to 'pump' somehow. The pumping turned it into a white foam. Then he stuck the needle into my legs at least 20 times. (It was a small needle, and needles don't bother me much.) INSTANTLY the veins that were big and bulgy went away.

I giggled and laughed through the whole thing because I? I am inaproppriately, inconveniently, absurdly and embarrassingly ticklish. Very much so. Dr. Crocodile said he preferred that to someone who complained a lot about the pain, but that was before I kicked him in the arm during one of the last injections, and I didn't ask him if that changed his mind.

I call him Dr. Crocodile because he looks exactly like Steve Irwin. Not that he acts like him. That would be too weird, right?  Except that halfway through the (so short) appointment, i realize HOLY CRAP HE DOES ACT LIKE HIM, TOO! AND HE'S ALREADY FILLING MY VEINS WITH WHITE FOAM AND IT COULD BE ANYTHING AT ALL IN THAT FOAM AND IT'S TOO LATE TO RE-THINK THIS AND...GAH! When Mike and I got to the truck, the first thing he asked was WHY I didn't notice that Dr. Crocodile actually DOES act like Steve Irwin and WHY did that not stop me when i met him in my consultation.  And I have no idea. None.  You'd think I'd care about something like that, but whatever.

It burned a little. It tickled a lot. Overall it was NO BIG THING. The procedure was SO minor. And cheap!  $180, no insurance, plus the cost of 'compression pantyhose.' Those are lovely, let me tell ya. I had to wear those for a few days and sleep in them the first night. Mightly stylish. 

The first 2 days there was the strangest sensation that my legs had gas. The veins that had been 'collapsed' felt as if occasionally they would let out a small bubble of something and it would seem to float somewhere and then pop. Not painful. But as if I had a carbonated beverage in my legs that was slowly losing its fizz. J-Mom said it was Diet Coke, of course. And it was. It was the sensation of Diet Coke in my veins.  As my fellow DC fans might note, it was not at all a bad thing.

So the Vein Thing was Monday. Just yesterday (Thursday) I worked out pretty hard and didn't feel sore. Today I was planning to wakeboard, and am perfectly fine. (boat, lake did not cooperate with plans)

For the record, I had this procedure done because my veins would ache after I exercised. Not vanity. Really! But if I could have a similarly easy procedure done for my stretch marks, OH MY GOSH,  I would, and gladly tell you it would be all in the name of vanity. I know that some of you are all 'i love my stretch marks! they are the battle scars of my pregnancies!'  And good for you, really, but I'm just not that way.

The boogers on my shirt (that are not mine, mind you) are battle scars enough.

If any of you have vein questions, go ahead an email me. There was a surprising amount of interest in this, and I probably didn't cover some of the things you're wondering. (Just click it on the left there)

Today J-Mom and I made up for our previous lack of shopping. Mike was home from doing his radio show by 1:30 and we were off. No shoe store was safe. We tirelessly hunted a specific chocolate brown blouse for J-Mom. We bargain shopped and we argued about the way pants should fit.  We shopped.  We did not rest until hours and hours of quality shopping were had and then we collapsed into a booth at Chili's for dinner. It was 9 by then, but stopping any sooner would have been unthinkable. It was that kind of day.

I got a couple of pairs of cute, cheap shorts. Yeah. Cheap shorts. I'm having some veins in my legs 'collapsed' on Monday and will be sitting around with my feet up for a few days next week. Cute, cheap shorts were in order.  Shoes were not, but of course it was fun to look. 

I have those bumpy varicose veins that sometimes come after pregnancies. So I went to see about getting them 'lasered.' That sounded so easy and painless and high tech and as simple as a manicure on the commercial. Why not?  So I went to see the doctor. He reminded me so much of Steve Irwin, it was eerie.

Not his mannerisms or anything. He wasn't bodyslamming me to the examining table and yelling "By Crikey, those are some beautiful veins." But he really does look like the guy.  Anyway.

I'm not getting lasered.  Dr. Crocodile said that we can go more conservative and just fill my veins with foam.  Um. Gross. That's better than laser?  And somehow the answer was yes. 

Huh.

And that's why I bought cheap shorts, not that you asked, and not that this is even why I'm blogging right now but I got distracted and so oops. sorry. 

This was supposed to be about THIS!

Today happens to be the 17th, so please go do your monthly self breast exam and then say you did in the comment section. 

You will be eligible for a fantastically well chosen prize that J-Mom and I bought today, AND you will be totally proud of yourself for being so health conscious. As always, feel free to click here and read about how and why we do this. (Also, find out how to get a cute little blog button.)

June Bonus: you'll make the lady in the cute, cheap shorts with the bumpy veins very happy. 

It's the 17th. The date each month where women the globe over do SELF BREAST EXAMS and then leave a blog comment here saying so. Isn't life good?

Here is what you do. Do that monthly breast exam. Now. Go.

Good. Then leave a comment on THIS post right here saying that you did.

You will feel better for having done your exam, AND you will be eligible for a fantastic prize which I have yet to purchase because I"m just that kind of unorganized.  AND! You get full benefits of Club 17 membership.

Full benefits of club membership include but are not limited to the following:

cool blog button! look to the left and see the cutie in the crown! that's yours after you participate any 6 times. After participating ONLY ONCE, you are eligible for the Not Yet Crowned Cutie. All details found HERE.

Also, the very best comments come on these Club 17 posts. Readers update other readers on their health, their prayers, their stories. Readers ask others to pray or spread the word about things. IT's very chatty.  It's always my favorite comment section, so don't miss it.

Friends and relatives who refuse to comment even on these important posts: email me that you did it, please. i will then assign you a quirky pseudonym for this purpose, post a comment for you saying that you did your BSE and then you will also be eligible for the not yet purchased but altogether lovely prize.  So... email me THAT YOU DID IT, and then I'll name you and enter you and you will be a real live Club 17er.

That offer also stands for my dear lurkers. I adore you, you anonymous and shy readers. You, too, can email me and request that i post a comment on your behalf with a catchy name. For you, anything.  But since you don't comment, I really don't know you well enough to give you a name. When you email me, you might give me a hint as to your hobbies or something like that. (it might take me a few days to get back to you. be patient, dear lurker, and do not think that i've rejected you. i'm just out of town briefly and may or may not have access.)

No matter. Anything for the breast health of the blogosphere, that's what I'm always sayin'.

No not really! That would be weird.

(autoposting. carry on in comments without me and i'll be back soon.)

Drawing to be held Friday night, so get your BSE done before then!  I have no idea what the prize is this month, but it'll be cute.

(don't leave your 'i did it' comment here - put it on this one please!)

Yes, ladies, it IS the 17th already!  So, what does that mean again?

It means you go do your self breast exam (if you haven't done one since last month), then you check back in here and say you did! For your trouble, you receive peace of mind, a sense of health awareness (sounds like a lame phrase, but it's a good concept), and a bloggy button that is SO cute if don't already have one. If you do leave an "I did it" comment, you receive an entry into the prize drawing. Why wouldn't ya? 

Need to know how or why you'd  do this, or what a 'button' is? No problem. Check here for everything having to do with Club 17.

(and you do NOT need a blog in order to leave a comment or to win!)