"Please don't pull off your brother's toenail."

long pause, then, "WOW! He didn't even CRY and it was the WHOLE THING!"

*

"The cat does NOT want to wear sandals."

(Seth-1yr was convinced otherwise.)

*

"Quit making Icky Spit Noises, please."  (i must have said this one 10 times just today.)

*

"STOP! The cat REALLY does not want to wear sandals!"

Occasionally when writing, exceptionally random bits of information are needed. I end up calling people and asking weird questions. I call these "Book Research Questions." They can be anything. For my first book i remember calling a friend's (then) teenage daughter and asking her to explain to me what a bellybutton bar was. Enlightening. 

Book Research Question:

has anyone ever had a ring sooo stuck on a finger that it had to be cut off by medical personnel?  or, are you in the medical field and have a professional opinion or experience you could relate?

if so, please email me with all the details you can remember. click the 'email me' thing over there on the left.

Thanks!

Update:

THANK YOU!!! i have all the info i could possibly need on this, and i'm blown away by the response. i was afraid no one would answer, but wow! Several of you were kind enough to give detailed accounts of your own experiences, AND a real live RN wrote with a medical perspective. Each of you who wrote contributed unique details that will be so helpful when i re-write that scene! THANK YOU!

the previous post offended someone, and has since been deleted.

(your hilarious comments were appreciated, however.)

Back in town, drawing will be held tonight, so sign in on the post below!

I'm busy writing, and am in that 'oooh, i just LOVE these characters' phase. Spending every spare minute with them, in fact, so off I go! (the last one I was trying for just didn't 'take.' i really wanted to make a mom-lit work, but it just wouldn't. i'm so glad i let i go. this one is so much fun, and seems to be writing itself. does that sound crazy?)

It's the 17th. The date each month where women the globe over do SELF BREAST EXAMS and then leave a blog comment here saying so. Isn't life good?

Here is what you do. Do that monthly breast exam. Now. Go.

Good. Then leave a comment on THIS post right here saying that you did.

You will feel better for having done your exam, AND you will be eligible for a fantastic prize which I have yet to purchase because I"m just that kind of unorganized.  AND! You get full benefits of Club 17 membership.

Full benefits of club membership include but are not limited to the following:

cool blog button! look to the left and see the cutie in the crown! that's yours after you participate any 6 times. After participating ONLY ONCE, you are eligible for the Not Yet Crowned Cutie. All details found HERE.

Also, the very best comments come on these Club 17 posts. Readers update other readers on their health, their prayers, their stories. Readers ask others to pray or spread the word about things. IT's very chatty.  It's always my favorite comment section, so don't miss it.

Friends and relatives who refuse to comment even on these important posts: email me that you did it, please. i will then assign you a quirky pseudonym for this purpose, post a comment for you saying that you did your BSE and then you will also be eligible for the not yet purchased but altogether lovely prize.  So... email me THAT YOU DID IT, and then I'll name you and enter you and you will be a real live Club 17er.

That offer also stands for my dear lurkers. I adore you, you anonymous and shy readers. You, too, can email me and request that i post a comment on your behalf with a catchy name. For you, anything.  But since you don't comment, I really don't know you well enough to give you a name. When you email me, you might give me a hint as to your hobbies or something like that. (it might take me a few days to get back to you. be patient, dear lurker, and do not think that i've rejected you. i'm just out of town briefly and may or may not have access.)

No matter. Anything for the breast health of the blogosphere, that's what I'm always sayin'.

No not really! That would be weird.

(autoposting. carry on in comments without me and i'll be back soon.)

That is me. The UN cupid...  Is there another word for the opposite of cupid?  I can't think of one, but it's after midnight and i've felt as if i were in slow motion for the last two hours. If there is such a word, my brain couldn't come up with it right now.

I write romantic Christian fiction. Funny love stories. Novels about LOVE. 

I'm a daydreamer. Lover of all things sappy and romantic. 

I just told a guy to dump his girlfriend. He wasn't even ASKING me about his girlfriend. He'd written to me about something else, but gave me enough particulars of their relationship to know - JUST KNOW - that it was doomed. Not worth saving. Irreconcilable. I stopped just short of saying that much. I think he's a great guy, based on this one email. Which means nothing. And I think his girlfriend is probably pretty great, too. But NOT A GOOD MATCH. NOT! 

That song kept running through my head as i typed "HEY HEY I DON"T LIKE YOUR GIRLFRIEND!"  Not that it fit, but it was catchy. Like I said, I think she's probably lovely. But not for him. 

If I were writing their story... they would have dated very briefly and then agreed that they just didn't fit well into each other's lives. AND THEN FOUND SOMEONE ELSE WHO DID. Because that's a happy ending, and I LIKE my happy endings.

Jeana has written a fascinating series. Start here to see how this ties in with the 'not a good match' lesson that is SO important, and then click your way all the way through to the happy ending. Or the happy 'present' I suppose. I did, and with tears in my eyes because i love a good love story.

I hope my e-mailer dumps his girlfriend and finds a good love story to star in. He's in someone else's plot right now and he really, really needs to exit stage left.

Stacey tagged me for a 7 Things Meme...

so here we go!

1.  I'm watching What Not to Wear

2.  I usually don't

3. Today I planted ageratum, petunias, geraniums, pink skull cap, and rosemary

4.  while simultaneously playing fetch with Duke

5.  and sipping a Diet Coke Plus

6. Tonight I (gasp) visited a few blogs and maybe mustered a comment or two

7. and now I'm off to THIS ONE!

Wanna help us name a boat?

it's big and orange.  sort of like:

(no, not our family. total strangers)

My suggestions, after taking it out once:

"Second Thoughts"

and "Orange Roughy"

Mike, predictably, objects to Second Thoughts, and didn't at first get the brilliant play on words that the second one demonstrates.

So. I think my suggestions are out.  Got any?

Yesterday I attempted wakeboarding. I don't know how many times I tried, all unsuccessfully. Ten?  I never even got up, and that was NOT how I had envisioned it. Realistic or not, I was going to be the Queen of the Wake. I'd read the magazines, done the online searches and practiced the stance in front of the mirror. Oh yeah. I really did.  I just hadn't yet met the Wake, for it to crown me. That was supposed to happen yesterday. The Lake did not get the memo. My right ankle got a nice bruise from a too loose binding, and my ridiculous fantasty of athletic wake style prowess? dashed to pieces.  Maybe another day. And maybe not. 

I also stink at backing a trailer into a boat slip. Actually, I stink at TRYING, because I never even came close to stinking at backing it all the way in.

Not Yet a Boat Person,

Kelsey

PS. Please throw out some boat names, y'all!

My sister says I am not capable of subtlety. She may be right.

So I have big news, but I'm kinda supposed to be subtle. At her request. Except, remember, I'm not capable of that. According to her.  I think she's right...

I'm supposed to write a random post about ME, then maybe casually, subtle-ly mention the other news. Or so she directed.  ...Knowing of course that I can't do that...

But let's try.

Random... about my life...

i have conquered Laundry Mountain by at least 70%.

i really wish lululemon gear was less expensive.

and OH YEAH! MY SISTER FINALLY STARTED HER OWN BLOG, Y'ALL!

There! I did it, LaLa! Just like you directed!

HolySister can be found at, where else? LaLa Land. wanna go welcome her to the blogosphere?

*prepare yourself so your system does not shock at the change of pace from here to there. In LaLa Land there is an abundance of large, multisyllabic words, correct pronunciation, and sgeneral smartness. I tend to throw all of that out the window, as you know, so get ready - you're in for a grammatically correct treat!

** UPDATED TO ADD: OH my GOSH! (yeah, i guess Caden-3yr gets it from me)  I managed to make it sound like HolySister asked me to plug her blog, which she didn't.  I bugged her until she agreed, and her way of agreeing was to direct me to be very subtle and casual and maybe just mention it at the end of a post instead of making a big deal of it. Yeah right.   Kinda glad she has a career that has kept her from seeing it yet.  Oops!  Now go say hi!

No, I didn't battle my laundry mountain. In fact, it's still growing in the closet. But I DID do something quite dangerous.

I went swimsuit shopping. ( Do y'all hate that as much as i do? )

WITH Caden-3yr and Seth-1yr in a double stroller too big to fit between department store swimsuit racks.

We went to the Dillard's restroom first, where Seth-1yr threw his sippie cup  -- with perfect aim --  into the toilet.

Yes. OF COURSE i had to get it out. Ew.

Made it out of there with cute swim attire and one less sippie cup.