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Catching Up (or trying to!)
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It seems I have SO neglected this little blog, my friends' blogs, my Real Life Friends, keeping in touch with family, and... oh yeah. I don't usually return phone calls or emails too well anyway, so those are just 'givens.' 

Which makes me wonder what I've been doing. Um. I think I've been exercising a LOT. Working on the Institution of Marriage, as well as parenting. Particularly, parenting Caden-3yr who OH MY GOSH has managed to transform himself from the world's easiest, laid back-est little two year old, into, well, a normal three year old. Somehow I didn't see it coming. But isn't he SO cute?! (he was mad I didn't have a pull up with race cars on it, and he was NOT in the mood for Spiderman.)


So a few escapades from the gym...

I am not a graceful individual. Funny, I always thought i WAS, but it turns out I'm not. (I was in the habit of comparing myself to someone else in my family who is much clumsier than I am. So therefore I must be pretty coordinated and graceful, right? Um, no. NOOOO. And now I know.)

My trainer is fantastic. I refer to her as Workout Barbie, because, well, duh. Workout Barbie decided I should do a lunge type move with my front foot on the floor and my back foot on a step. No problem right? It's a small step. I have nothing in my hands. I have loads of ballet behind me, and remember? I'm graceful, or at least still under that delusion at this point in time. So Workout Barbie tells me I need to scoot my front foot up further, widening my lunge. Ok. I can do that. So with my back foot still on that step, I scoot. And then WILD FLAILING ENSUES.

I have NO idea why i didn't just, yaknow, move that back foot safely to the ground and start over, because in hindsight that woulda been SO much better. Instead, I flail my arms in circles wildly, jutting out one hip and then the other and almost completely fall over in a pile.

I don't!

Because I brilliantly flail until Workout Barbie moves closer to rescue me and one of my wild swinging arms manages to latch on to her and I am steadied. Safe. I just wish I had managed to not grab her left breast in a deathgrip. Or just fallen to the floor. Really, anything but accidental groping would have been better.

We bugged our eyes out at each other, and bent over snorting and laughing and gasping. I have no idea who was more horrified by this. So. Now she knows I"m not all that graceful, and so do I.

It wasn't a fluke. I managed to pop myself in the head with a ten pound dumbell today THREE times. I don't think that did a thing for my triceps, but whatever.

Saturday morning I showed up at the gym for the class that is always packed. It's aerobics through really fun dance. Or so it's supposed to be.  Workout Barbie was in there, and we'd agreed to meet and 'have fun!' together. Ha. Workout Barbie looked great, and had fun.

I showed up, and did my very best to keep up with the instructor. He was wonderful. Fun, humorous, explained things well, and he wore camoflauge pants and a big gold belt buckle. He was cool enough (and then some) to pull the look off. It was a full hour of me being the least coordinated, most awful participant in a VERY packed and of course - MIRRORED - room. I tried to have a good time and keep up and get some good cardio in. I did not flee the room, but that is the only thing I think I did right, and do not underestimate that accomplishment. I'm quite proud of it. I did not flee. 

And for the rest of the world that was there that day? WOW! You go! WHo knew that so many people could show up to a class (where the dances were 'all NEW' that day, so no one had an edge of any sort), and they'd just all catch on and do so well?! I was impressed. And humbled.

PS COngraulations again to Grim Reality Girl! You will be receiving a darling black New Balance bag with a pink breast cancer awareness ribbon on the front of it. 

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Your Comments

Chris Said:

I had to laugh out loud when I read your story. I too thought I was pretty graceful but I think with age I have lost it! At least you can have fun and laugh while you work out, even if it is a result of groping someone! Thanks for making me laugh.

on Apr 23, 2007 5:16:02 PM
kelli Said:

Oh. My.Word - that so sounds like something I would do if I had the courage to try a class. HA!
More power to you for not running away!

on Apr 23, 2007 6:35:32 PM
Jeana Said:

I think you should enter Workout Barbie in the next drawing, even if her breast exam was forced upon her.

on Apr 23, 2007 6:41:30 PM
Jessica K Said:

Hey ! This is my first time reading your blog. Oh my gosh! That story cracked me up. My husband thinks I'm crazy for sitting here laughing at the computer screen! I admire your courage, though. I am too scared to even take my uncoordinated self to those classes. I stick to doing TurboJam at home!

on Apr 23, 2007 8:49:01 PM
Amy Said:

Hee hee hee. Thank you for sharing that story. I needed a good laugh tonight that was not at my expense.

on Apr 23, 2007 10:22:44 PM
Shalee Said:

Really Kels... I think you're pushing this Club 17 a little too much. Jeana's right; Workout Barbie should be entered into the examination drawing too. Now all you have to do "accidentally" kop a squeeze on her right one before next month and voila! You'll have another participant in no time.

And it's relieving to know that I have fellow white girl with whom I can dance and not feel self-conscious about not getting my feet to do what I want them to do. Strength in numbers... I'm just saying...

on Apr 24, 2007 10:32:05 AM
LeAnne Said:

I've only been in an aerobics class once or twice. I've just NEVER understood those things - the dance moves, the whatever moves you call it. The time that I remember going to a class, everyone in there knew ALL the moves to do at the right time. I could barely get my right foot going! NOT.THAT.COORDINATED! I just can't make myself go in public like that again! :o)

on Apr 24, 2007 11:16:56 AM
Jerri Said:

We definately need to get Caden and Madison together....our peaceful home hasn't been the same since birthday #3 hit!!! AAAAGGH!!! (who knew so much drama could be bottled up in a child!?!)

on Apr 24, 2007 2:07:59 PM
HolySister Said:

I sincerely hope I am NOT the family member you've been thinking was clumsier than you are. Although, I've been on the business end of a "you are not graceful" intervention, and I'm happy to share with you if you need it.

on Apr 24, 2007 4:45:28 PM
Stacey Said:

Jeana and Kelsey are cracking me up! I once thought I was graceful and well balanced but I've since learned that was a lie from the evil one!! Keep up the good work at the gym... maybe you could get a picture of workout Barbie for the blog??

on Apr 25, 2007 12:43:07 PM
GiBee Said:

So, does that make Workout Barbie an honorary member of the Club 17???

on Apr 25, 2007 2:51:23 PM

HA HA HA HA! (((((HUGS))))) sandi

on Apr 26, 2007 11:11:05 AM
Em Said:

That sounds like my experience with step class. Me, flailing about the room unable to control my body movements. I didn't have a personal trainer with me, so I slunk out of the room 10 minutes after class began.

I'm much better with a treadmill.

on Apr 28, 2007 8:14:48 AM