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A Bloody Tale (and good links to make up for it)
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Today I had a freak accident, and there was blood. My blood.

I was sitting on the couch (this part gets freaky, especially if you know me at all well) preparing to WRITE CHRISTMAS CARDS. Uh huh. It's the third week in October, y'all. You are correct. I am a freak.  Every Monday i camp out on the couch, planning to listen to Mike as he hosts a call-in financial show on the radio. So I'm there, waiting for it to start, getting my cards organized. I have a ball point pen in one hand, and am reaching for my address book with the other hand. And then... BAM. A dove slams into the window LOUDLY and scares the crud out of me, and i JAM THE BALL POINT PEN STRAIGHT UP MY RIGHT NOSTRIL. Um. Whaa? Blood gushes, as I have apparently stabbed through that inner septum thing that is supposed to divide one nose hole from the other nose hole. Unless, of course, you stab a small tunnel straight through it. (no not all the way through, but it FELT like it.)

I think the dove was ok. I didn't see loads of blood dripping from it or anything, unlike me. The irony here is that was a bird of peace, and symbolically represented on the Christmas cards  i had purchased and was preparing to write.  After that, I put them away and went with the green Christmas tree ones. Bird of peace. Pfft. Bird of gore. (And wreckless flight.)

bonus #1 A cause I love, and hello? ebay! two of my faves!  Thanks, HolySIster for the link!

bonus #2 Yea to Joel for sending me this one!

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Your Comments

Ginger Said:

You've GOT to be kidding! That is one of the wierdest things I've read about in a while. I assume you didn't go to ER?

on Oct 23, 2006 10:51:56 PM
Tina Said:

Oh that had me laughing!
Sorry for your pain...thanks for the laugh!

on Oct 23, 2006 11:28:55 PM
jeana Said:

Yet another reason to love blogging because I can say, "wow, I'm so sorry that happened!" and you can't see how hard I'm laughing.

on Oct 24, 2006 6:05:24 AM
Geekwif Said:

A pen went up your nose??? I'm trying to imagine the circumstances that would have allowed that pen to be perfectly positioned to end up in your nose.

Nope, can't do it. Sure makes for a good blog post though! I wish those weird things would happen to me. Then I'd have more interesting things to write about. Well, maybe not pens up my nose, but, you know, interesting things. Like kids being magically slammed against walls and stuff, you know.

Really like Bonus #2. I've always wondered if supermodels were really aliens. Now I know - they're just Photoshopped!

on Oct 24, 2006 7:12:59 AM
Susan Said:

OMG! Are you alright? Somewhere between the horror and hysterical laughter, I thought I should ask if you are okay.

See, I am a good friend...

on Oct 24, 2006 7:15:42 AM
Susan Said:

OMG! Are you alright? Somewhere between the horror and hysterical laughter, I thought I should ask if you are okay.

See, I am a good friend...

on Oct 24, 2006 7:16:26 AM
Susan Said:

OMG! Are you alright? Somewhere between the horror and hysterical laughter, I thought I should ask if you are okay.

See, I am a good friend...

on Oct 24, 2006 7:18:05 AM

Ok my eyes water just reading that. Are ok? Did you swell? Oh my goodness, I can not imagine!!!! Ouch, now I am going to be thinking about your nose all day =)

on Oct 24, 2006 7:52:55 AM
Wayniac Said:

Well "A bird in the hand is better than... a pen in the nose"?

Well, now you can say you poured yourself out over those CHRISTmas cards!

on Oct 24, 2006 9:06:22 AM
Megan Said:

*wiping the tears on my face*

Guess you need a goalie mask when.....

writing Christmas cards??

Hope it heals quickly!

on Oct 24, 2006 9:15:16 AM

I am feeling guilty for laughing this hard at the shedding of your blood.

on Oct 24, 2006 9:24:43 AM
kris Said:

I'm sorry you got hurt, but that was a really funny story! I wanted to write a more creative comment, but every time I think about it I start cracking up...and since I am at work, and everyone knows my job isn't funny, I think I better stop now. Thanks for the laugh, hope you feel better!

on Oct 24, 2006 9:41:29 AM
Mary Said:

Wow. I still can't figure out how that happened. I like the Dove link, though, and in fact, just posted a link to it on my blog. Great minds think alike.

on Oct 24, 2006 9:44:40 AM
Patrick Said:

EWWW EWWWW EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
nuf said

on Oct 24, 2006 9:51:53 AM
Shalee Said:

Well, you could still send the cards out because it still goes with the Christmas color theme right? Red and green - you just can't go wrong.

Oh, and I hope your nose is healing well and not swollen. If not, please don't let that stop you from coming this weekend. I promise I won't stare at your nose the entire time...

on Oct 24, 2006 12:27:47 PM
Heth Said:

Who knew that writing Christmas cards is a full contact sport?! And seriously, you need to procrastinate that a little bit more. You are making the rest of us look bad.

on Oct 24, 2006 2:14:12 PM
oshee Said:

From the 2 yr-old with gravity issues to the dove hitting the window as the pen goes up your nose...have you considered having someone follow you around with a video camera?
I bet you would make a killing on one of those funniest videos shows. :-D

on Oct 24, 2006 3:13:35 PM
Fiddledeedee Said:

Soooo, how was the call-in financial show?

on Oct 24, 2006 6:26:21 PM
Linda Said:

I'm sorry - I shouldn't laugh, but I did -right out loud. I have a weakness for physical humor. You know - where people miss the chair and fall on the floor. Things like that; things you really shouldn't laugh at at all.
I do hope you're okay. You write a great post!

on Oct 24, 2006 7:13:12 PM
Susanne Said:

One word: OUCH!

Next year wait until at least November to start those cards!

on Oct 24, 2006 7:35:18 PM
GiBee Said:

You know what's really funny about this? Jeana can add this to her diet! Pigeon and Dove. Mmm. Sans the blood, of course!

on Oct 25, 2006 9:41:28 AM

Ouch. OUCH.
How awful.
Frannie

on Oct 25, 2006 4:17:23 PM
Carol Said:

Ouch! on the nose thing.

Double-ouch that you put me to shame on the Christmas card thing.

on Oct 26, 2006 7:38:32 AM
stacey Said:

Oh my goodness, that totally sounds like something I would do!! I'm sorry : )

on Oct 26, 2006 5:13:11 PM
Minnie Said:

So this is where my sick mind goes after reading that:

'I wonder if she'll throw the pen away so she won't accidentally do that subconscious Chewing On the End of the Pen thing...'

Ewwwww!

And that bird flying into your window? Totally creepy.

on Oct 26, 2006 10:58:27 PM