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HolySister on 'The Toast Incident'
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You might recall I mentioned a hilarious incident regarding a piece of toast. Well, HolySister wrote about it, and did a better job than I would have - and it was HER piece of toast after all... so without further ado, here is HolySister.

(Except no! It's still me. And the words below in bold will be mine. All others are hers.)

A glimpse into the life and mind of HolyMama

(Isn't it weird when someone emails you something that is titled 'a glimpse into YOUR brain?' Freaked me a bit, really)

So while I was visiting Kelsey we had all sorts of fun.  She’s already told you about the laughing and snorting and crying, the blue drool, and our discovery of awesome jeans.  This little incident occurred early in my visit, and is worth telling.  First of all, neither of us is really all that sharp in the morning.  We’ve known that for ages.  But while I wake up, not sharp, but HUNGRY, Kelsey wakes up, not sharp, and not hungry.  She doesn’t eat till, like, 11 am.  By that time I’ve sharpened up considerably and am beginning to chew on the walls.  I just can’t go that long without food.  The blood sugar drops and my Unreasonable Side takes over (cue the werewolf music). 

Rather than harm beloved family members or leave teeth marks in the kitchen, we worked it out that I was free to get up and fix myself a breakfast of whatever I liked.  The second morning I was there the breakfast I liked was scrambled eggs and toast.  K kept me company while I cooked and ate.  As I’m buttering the toast one piece gets all acrobatic, flies through the air and lands on the kitchen floor, near HolyMama’s foot.  Butter side up – whew!  K bends to pick it up and then, oh so helpfully, sucks in the biggest breath of air a non-diver should ever need and proceeds to blow like the west wind all over the back of my toast.  I’m not kidding – my hair blew back and I was standing a good 3 feet away.  She was merely trying to remove any cat hairs from my toast, but for whatever reason she chose to do it with the largest possible amount of air one pair of human lungs ever held.  She handed me my toast and then we totally lost it.  We laughed.  I believe we cried. 

(HM here.) And at that moment HolySister said, "I think you blew a whole lot more ONTO my toast than you blew OFF it." And she was right. There had to have been spit. Her eyes were so huge as I handed it back to her, and that was what made me realize I had actually not been that gracious of a hostess with that particular act. Don' t you want to be my houseguest?!

It still makes me giggle.  The memory of her cheeks puffed out like a chipmunk’s, blowing the hair off my toast for a good thirty seconds – oh, that’s a keeper.

Later on I was telling J-Mom the story and at the end she asked, “Did you eat the toast?”  It hadn’t even occurred to me NOT to eat the toast.  I told her yes and mom laughed again and said, “That’s sweet.”

I also wondered why she ate the toast, but just thought, "Huh. She really does like breakfast."

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Your Comments

jeana Said:

I have to say that if my hostess blew on the toast, I would interpret that as, "You better eat it don't go wasting food think about the starving kids in Africa."

But this all begs the question of when Holysister will be getting her own blog?

on Aug 15, 2006 4:19:21 PM
PatrickB Said:

Sounds to me like you switched into "Mommy" mode. As anyone who has had experience with moms know, mom breath, spit and kisses all have miraculous powers.

Mommy breath renders anything a safe temperature to eat and can prolong the 10 second rule on all dropped edibles.

Mom spit is better than antibacterial soap. That is why kids are always getting smudges removed by kleenex and mommy spit.

And as anyone knows, Mommy kisses are better than Elmo bandaids.

Of course this is all the opinion of a one time (and still quite) spoilt Mama's boy.

on Aug 15, 2006 4:55:25 PM
Erin Said:

She ate the toast?! *dies laughing*

on Aug 15, 2006 4:58:38 PM
Kristina Said:

Ok, your posts really crack me up. Thanks for sharing into your funny side of life!

on Aug 15, 2006 5:44:17 PM
Barb Said:

Haven't visited you in a while but I'm sure glad I stopped by today. That one word - spit - that did me in. Sister or not, I would NOT have eaten that toast.

on Aug 15, 2006 6:37:31 PM

OMGosh! This totally reminds me of something that happened to me in college! I think I'm gonna post about it this week!!! I'll let you know!

on Aug 15, 2006 6:56:20 PM
Faith Said:

ROFL!!!!! You do keep me giggling!!

on Aug 15, 2006 7:18:50 PM

I can't believe she ate the toast. No, actually I can believe it....with all that effort, it had to be eaten!

on Aug 15, 2006 7:54:05 PM
Susan Said:

You chicks crack me up! I can picture it now!

on Aug 15, 2006 8:03:46 PM
Robin Said:

Really these posts need to come with some sort of a warning since I blog next to my sleeping daughter's room and needing to bust my gut with laughter is not good. I think I just blew my insides up.

on Aug 15, 2006 8:23:42 PM
Jessica Said:

Funny.... it's kindof like birthday cake... you eat and just try not to think about the spit that likely found its way onto the piece.

on Aug 15, 2006 9:45:20 PM
Jessica Said:

Funny.... it's kindof like birthday cake... you eat and just try not to think about the spit that likely found its way onto the piece.

on Aug 15, 2006 9:45:30 PM
Amy Said:

Oh my goodness...you girls are so funny! You remind me of my sister and me when we're staying with one another. Everything is funny and we do the silliest things. AND her name is Kelsey. Great name:)

on Aug 15, 2006 10:10:31 PM
Carol Said:

There are some things in life, like pathogenic germs, that must be precluded by the need to feed.

I'd have eaten it, too.

on Aug 15, 2006 11:40:33 PM
Joy Said:

This is sooo funny!
I'm sure the toast was still within the 5 second rule. You've heard of that, haven't you? Anything that's fallen and picked up within 5 seconds is still clean. Know why? Coz the germs were still running away to avoid being flattened by the toast! LOL! If you pick it up before the 5 sec is up, they hadn't gotten to the food yet!

on Aug 16, 2006 12:26:44 AM
oshee Said:

She ate the toast...Now THAT is LOVE!

on Aug 16, 2006 1:39:33 AM
Janice Said:

so fun to hear the two of you together! gotta love sister relationships - she sounds just like you :)

on Aug 16, 2006 1:39:50 AM
Geekwif Said:

Oh my goodness! That is too hilarious! I can't believe she ate the toast. Nothing against you, HM, but I'm pretty sure I would not have eaten it.

Say, aren't we still waiting for a glimpse of some new shoes?

on Aug 16, 2006 7:05:37 AM
cheeriobutt Said:

You two are soo funny! I wish I had a sister! You to make me jealous! You should make a blog between the two of you that you comment back and forth on about things like this! Call it "Holy sistas"!

on Aug 16, 2006 9:13:33 AM
Shalee Said:

HS... I'd of eaten it too. Hey, I'm a mom and spit is nothing after you've had a couple of kids.

on Aug 16, 2006 10:02:32 AM
Stacey Said:

The two of you should always write together!! That was too funny : )

on Aug 16, 2006 12:34:16 PM

Like Patrick, we've got the 10 second rule in our house, only my teen aged son is more likely to follow the 1-minute-plus rule...but that's another story. Not sure how the blowing-spit-all-over-it theory adjusts the timing rule, though--I'll have to get back to ya on that one.

on Aug 16, 2006 1:22:11 PM
Heather Said:

That is too funny! Actually it made me think of something really funny to post on my funny blog! Thanks!

on Aug 16, 2006 1:25:14 PM
Kristen Said:

I am so happy to finally hear the toast story! You kept referring to it and I kept saying to myself, "What toast incident?!" Thanks for telling us!! Sooooo funny!!

on Aug 16, 2006 4:10:37 PM
April Said:

That it never occurred to her not to eat the toast is the funniest part of that story for me.
HM, you sound like the perfect hostess.

on Aug 17, 2006 5:19:51 PM