Guess what? you know the woman who sings in Sugarland? I think her name is Jennifer Nettles. Turns out she speaks just as Weird Twang-y as she sings. I had no idea. And really, of course a country singer is going to twang. But not like this. This Weird Twang outtwangs all others by far.
There's a line in one of their songs where she sings "Fell in love out of college..." but she sings it with the oddest, most unnecessary twangy emphasis on the word college. It comes out "CAAAHLedge" . Have y'all noticed?
Anyway. That's not really why I'm here, but CMT is on in the background and I thought I'd share. In case you can't tell, I actually do like her - i'm just fascinated with her sound.
Just got back from visiting Kim-13 yr in New Mexico. Whirlwind trip, with Mike there already and the 3 boys and I going out there on our own. Before we'd even left town, Seth-1yr figured out how to take off his seatbelt (only the top part), unlock his car door, and then OPEN the car door. Then he would double over in his seat and laugh his little baby head off as all the interior lights came on and the Voice of the Car starts saying "RIGHT REAR DOOR AJAR!! RIGHT REAR DOOR AJAR!!" It was dark and rainy, so the lights coming on made a notable difference. As did my calm and cool freaking outed-ness as I pulled over to the shoulder and reseatbelted, locked, and shut his door. And lectured - all while standing on the shoulder of the road, getting rained on, almost getting run over by the helpful guy who thought he should pull over and make sure I was okay. (YES. Thank you. Don't come so close that I think you're going to MOW ME DOWN next time please, Mr. Good Samaritan in white chevy pickup.)
So. Get back in car. Regret stopping at Target and buying the children educational toys, because Seth-1yr had been studiously working at the various locks on said toy, and clearly he learned too much. Realize that the car door actually has a child lock feature, and wish that I had enabled it. Wonder if Seth-1yr could outsmart that as well, but figure it's worth a shot.
I get another chance, because then the lights are on, and the Voice of the Car is again saying "RIGHT REAR DOOR AJAR!! RIGHT REAR DOOR AJAR!!" At least I assume that is what she's saying - yes the Voice of the Car is female - because I can't hear it clearly over the raucous laughter coming from my tiniest, and currently most mischievous passenger.
So this time when i pull over, I remember to enable the child lock feature. It's raining harder. I'm annoyed, soaked, and still a little amused but determined not to show it. I reseatbelt, lecture, lock door, kiss laughing baby, shut door, and OH YES, another chivalrous guy is pulling over to check on me. Silver dodge pickup. Fortunately, not so close as the last guy. I'm FINE, thankyousoverymuch, and when did chivalry go all crazy like this anyway? I remember getting stuck in the mud this last spring and watching a guy in a red pickup get close, then throw it into reverse so he wouldn't HAVE to come near me and possibly help. The chivalry thing has clearly taken a summertime spike. (It's hereby scientifically decided.)
We get there. It takes hours longer than usual, what with the antics of Seth-1yr, and the pouring rain slowing our speed to a crawl. A few hours after we arrive, the kids are in bed going to sleep. They settled down easily, and we were fortunate enough to get the secluded house in the mountains we usually rent.
Through the darkness comes a PIERCING, dying animal cry. (Later MIke said he told someone, "My wife thought she heard something..." at which I laughed. He wasn't home then, and that is the biggest understatement ever.) I was frozen to the core at the deafening sound of a wild animal fighting for its life and losing. It was big. Like a fox, or dog, or coyote, and it was RIGHT outside the window. It took five full minutes to realize that it was a big animal, dying, and that meant something BIGGER was out there too. Bear. I know some of y'all think nothing of these things. You are Wild Wilderness Women, and are laughing at me. Go ahead. There are not big scary bears where I live and it wholly freaked me out.
At this time I had three brilliant thoughts 1) calling someone. Anyone. Because, really now. That should help. 2) waking up the kids. (only slightly more brilliant than #1), and 3) bugging my eyes out and heavy breathing until it stopped.
I went with #3. The next day Mike sent the kids to 'investigate' and they found two sets of tracks, including dog/fox sort and bear.
Score one for the Food Chain. It works. Yo. We were there. No T Shirt Necessary.
The next installment of the We Went to NM post will be... "Met Some Great People and Freaked Out First." Stay tuned!