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Sensing Wild Cherry Red Excitement
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Last week I mentioned that i was considering buying a big washer and dryer. I was particularly pleased by this comment, from Joel*, who clearly thinks I am a level headed appliance shopper:

joel Said: 

[Random]You know, I've been a fan of Kenmore washers and dryers in general, but lately their marketing boggles the mind. There's this HUGE emphasis on the fact that you can get them in colors now, so, you know, "you can put them out in your living room like you've always dreamed and they'll match your couch, because who wants to hide them in a back room?" Um...okaayy... "Oh, and by the way, it's not really important, but we guess we'll mention that the dryer dries as fast as the washer washes." Excuse me?!? You have a dryer that dries that fast, and you're trying to sell me on Orange, Red, or Biscuit?? Sheesh...[/Random]

So we went to Home Depot and I went STRAIGHT for the beautiful Wild Cherry Red washer and dryer that is so pretty I could put it in my living room if I wanted! And since the label read 'extra large capacity,' we got them! And they are GORGEOUS. And yes, Joel*, that really does matter! Perhaps it shouldn't, but it does.

These particular appliances aren't just big and red, they are SMART. They have all kinds of buttons, and the one to start them? They look like the triangle ' Play' button  on a remote control. Instead of one loud annoying, scare the pants off you kind of buzzer, these have calming tones. You can adjust the level of your calming tones 4 ways, if you so choose.

For some reason, there is a lot of 'sensing' that goes on when you stick some clothes in to wash. Before, I'd just cram it completely full, add soap, softener, and crank the dial. Water would pour in and hopefully not overflow onto the floor because then Mike would know just how much laundry I crammed in there. This was the old way.

The new way involves stuffing the clothes in, adding a high efficiency detergent in a special drawer, and then hearing lots of pleasant, calming tones as I adjust the different settings. Then. The sensing. The washer must SENSE every nuance of the dirty clothes I have placed within its care. It tosses them gently. Stops. Senses. Adds a little water. Senses. This goes on. And on. For several minutes until this master of a washer is satisfied and it senses that it might be ready for the next step. (yaknow. washing.)

The first night we had the new washer and dryer, Mike and I put the kids to bed, and then went to visit our new smart friends, in Wild Cherry Red. Mike started the washer. We stood there, in the laundry room (no we didn't put them in the living room, joel*), transfixed at how it so carefully analyzed our clothes. By the end of this process, our washer had probably sensed every place we'd worn these clothes and scientifically calculated the biological makeup of any stains.

And it took about 3 minutes, which was kinda too long for me because I guess I have the attention span of a gnat. But I stood there next to Mike anyway, watching and waiting as it tossed. Stopped. Sensed. Repeat. Finally I said, "This is an awful lot of...foreplay. When is it just going to get busy?"

I think that small observation made Mike's night. His face lit up. He half grunted, half laughed. I might be onto something here.

Working sexual analogies into everyday converstion? Weeeell. Let's just say it Works for ME Wednesday.**

*my thanks in advance to joel, and a sincere hope that I have not caused too much embarrassment by the links in this post.

**due to content, this post will not be linked back to other wfmw posts affiliated with Shannon's Rocks in My Dryer. but you should certainly look at her site each Wednesday for quality, usually NON sexual tips that are far more helpful and appropriate than this one.

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Your Comments

Suzi Said:

That was so funny! We got our new washer/dryer combination back on Labor Day weekend, and we also stood there and watched our clothes being washed. I totally recommend that you do continue to use the HE detergent. I decided that it wouldn't hurt to finish up my fancy-schmacy regular Tide with Lavendar and Vanilla...let me just say, way too many suds...and my washer actually sensed it, and it rinsed and rinsed and rinsed and rinsed. The jet speed spinning and rinsing went on for 45 minutes or more...after about the third load of using the regular detergent did I notice that it seemed to spin and rinse for a really long time...too long. Suds, lots and lots of suds in the window finally clued me in.
Oh, and I would personally like to thank you for the BSE reminder. Your notice came out and that very day my hubby told me to go to the doctor as I had one breast that grew 2 sizes in like one week, and a bruise that wouldn't go away for over six weeks...after seeing your post to remind me/us females, I then realized that I really did have a problem and I went to my GYN. My story doesn't have an ending yet, waiting for biopsy. Please let your readers know that there doesn't have to be a lump to have cancer. If there is symptoms like matitis, swelling, redness and a bruise that doesn't go away...get to a doctor right away. Inflammatory Breast Cancer is a very serious thing. I didn't even know that there was such a thing until 10 days ago. Thank you for your blog and your reminder to do BSE.
Hugs,
Suzi

on Feb 4, 2007 11:48:28 PM
Jeana Said:

So we learned two things here:

1) The washing machine is a woman.

2) You, apparently, are a man.

on Feb 5, 2007 6:15:41 AM
Geekwif Said:

Ooooh! How exciting! What is it about new appliances that just make a girls heart jump for joy, huh?

on Feb 5, 2007 7:03:33 AM

Now THAT was funny!

on Feb 5, 2007 7:23:39 AM

Funniest thing I've read in ages, girlfriend, and you should TOTALLY link it to WFMW. If you put "appliance sex" in parenthesis...well, you'd certainly get a lot of clicks!

on Feb 5, 2007 8:04:59 AM
Julie Said:

See here is the problem. Joel is a man. You are a woman. We women are thrilled with the idea that our laundry appliances can actually BE pretty! There has got to be something to make laundry fun. I am personally in love with the burnt orange ones (I'm sure there's a much better marketing color name they've used.) Unfortunately my current boring white washer and dryer work just fine.

on Feb 5, 2007 9:02:27 AM
joel Said:

LOL!! Okay, that was pretty funny. I'm actually wondering if this might be a good tax refund investment for us. With three-soon-to-be-five (Lord willing) children in the house, anything that makes laundry happen faster might be worth the cost. High efficiency detergent, though? Sounds expensive...

on Feb 5, 2007 9:37:38 AM
qtpies7 Said:

haha! That was great! But I have to agree with Jeana, you sounded like a man in that post! Or a woman every man would want. "Just get busy already, will ya? Geesh, you'd think foreplay was fun or something!"
I wonder if I got a smart washer if it would sense which of my cloth diapers needed hot or warm water and knew how many rinses to do, and would rewash them until they were totally clean, and would even fold and stuff them for me?

on Feb 5, 2007 12:11:15 PM
Big Mama Said:

That seriously made me laugh out loud.

on Feb 5, 2007 12:43:12 PM
Shalee Said:

Oh Kelsey, I see that my mentoring time in the car was not wasted on you. Did you happen to mention to Mike my comment on his choice of car? That should get him half grunting, half laughing and it surely COULD get you on to something again...

on Feb 5, 2007 12:56:31 PM
Alida Sharp Said:

I wish we could find dryers here! I cannot believe that I have dryer envy!

on Feb 5, 2007 5:07:12 PM
Heather Said:

I am partial to the idea of orange for my washer and dryer.

on Feb 5, 2007 5:16:49 PM

Yellow? Did anyone say Yellow? I would love to find a nice sunshiny Yellow washer/dryer ... although your Wild Cherry Red does sound cheery enough for me!
J-e-a-l-o-u-s ... that's me ... coveting your machinery!

on Feb 6, 2007 10:40:24 AM
Jan Said:

Wick and I are right there with y'all on watching the brand-new washer/dryer do its stuff. We got one of those combination gadgets for the RV--it's about the size of a dishwasher, front loading, and it washes and dries all in one drum. We actually sat on the step between the bedroom and bath area and watched it go through the whole cycle. It was fascinating! And no worries about forgetting a load of wet laundry that eventually sours and mildews because someone forgot to put it in the dryer!
Easily entertained, that's me.

on Feb 7, 2007 8:00:21 AM
Jan Said:

Wick and I are right there with y'all on watching the brand-new washer/dryer do its stuff. We got one of those combination gadgets for the RV--it's about the size of a dishwasher, front loading, and it washes and dries all in one drum. We actually sat on the step between the bedroom and bath area and watched it go through the whole cycle. It was fascinating! And no worries about forgetting a load of wet laundry that eventually sours and mildews because someone forgot to put it in the dryer!
Easily entertained, that's me.

on Feb 7, 2007 8:00:24 AM
Stacey Said:

That was funny! My Mom has the new big washer and dryer and loves it. I don't know when we'll ever get one but I'm sure someday we'll make room in the budget!!

on Feb 7, 2007 11:43:43 AM
Jenny Said:

I had a friend send me your blog. I too just received the wild cherry red washer and dryer. I had to paint the laundry room before they arrived so my "viewing area" would be calming, or at least pretty to look at. After they were installed, we had to buy a new light fixture to enhance their beauty. I found you can turn the light on in the washer during the cycle, and sit and watch....and the sensing? TOTALLY worth it! I never knew teenage boys socks could be so clean!

on Feb 7, 2007 2:57:22 PM

LOL, you are so funny! That is a very good Valentine's WFMW....I don't see why you can't post it at Shannon's! ;) Athough, it may be a little more on the pg-13 side of pg.

Cuz if it worked for you, it might work for others as well.....and that is useful info! =D

on Feb 7, 2007 11:18:06 PM
millicent Said:

ooohhh..we got a set of the kenmore (boring white) when we moved last september and oh my....I am so in love with those things! I mean, they are smart, really smart! I kept getting an error message and the load would stop. this went on for a while, and finally I called. it was telling us that we had hooked the hot and cold opposite! My husband was pretty impressed!
enjoy!!

on Feb 9, 2007 7:58:07 AM
GiBee Said:

Is it true that the new high-tech cherry red washer and dryers BOTH take twice as long to wash AND dry clothes as the regular-ol' less-energy-efficient models do?

on Feb 13, 2007 12:11:48 PM
Jacqui Said:

Does anyone know if Wild Cherry is available in ranges, refrigerators and dishwashers. I am replacing these appliances and really like the Wild Cherry. So far, I have not been able to find anything doing searches on the internet.
Thanks for any help,

Jacqui

on Feb 22, 2007 8:05:04 AM
wanda Said:

How trite and self-satisfied you sound, but good for you if you think your'e so smarmy.

on Sep 14, 2007 8:07:51 PM
HolyMama! Said:

So glad you stopped by, Wanda...?

(Hope you have a better day tomorrow)

on Sep 15, 2007 1:50:39 PM