Maybe it's the time of year that has me thinking of my first dance recital. May was always the month of ballet and piano recitals. Or maybe it's something else. But my first dance recital took place in a very small town in central Texas, and I was 4 or 5 years old. My class of aobut 10 girls were doing a ballet dance and would be called Little Pink Clouds. I thought it sounded glamorous. Now it sounds kinda stupid, but that's ok.
We were all dressed in pink leotards with silver squiggles of sequins on the front, and short sticky-out pink tutus. On our heads... oh, get this! On our heads we wore clear headbands with silver squiggles of sequins - my first and only tiara. Go ahead, sigh with me...
Our teacher's name was Patti, and she danced the routine in the wings, where we could see her but the audience could not. I remember my mom pointing out that the audience knew she was there because we all kept our eyes glued to Patty, so we'd know what step came next.
At one point in the dance, the Little Pink Clouds were supposed to bourre in one large circle. (that just means you put your feet close together, take tiny steps on your toes and we held our arms above our heads in a semicircle) So we did, and I started at the back of the circle, and my friend Christal was at the front of the circle. The circle slowly went around, each Little Pink Cloud taking a turn at the front of the stage.
I was a shy, quiet kid, who totally got lost in the moment. I remember getting excited as our little circle turned and my turn at the every front of the stage was coming up. All eyes on me. Maybe it was the tiara, or the bright lights, but for some reason, the thought was wonderful and i remember clearly what it was like to bourree with all my heart and look up and see the different color gels over the stage lights above me. I put everything i had into that moment, getting lost in the limelight, utterly.
There's a photograph somewhere, taken exactly at that moment. A circle of Little Pink Clouds on an elementary school stage. All of the Clouds are looking in one direction. Not at Patti in the wings, but at one pink drifter at centerstage. She has her arms up, eyes up, head thrown back, and is completely unaware she's drifted out of proper pink cloud formation. The other little four and five year old clouds are giving her a 'what the HECK!?' look. It's priceless.
For years i felt stupid when i thought of that moment - the perfectionist in me would cringe at the memory. But now I love it that I can remember the details of that one moment when I just let go and danced, centerstage, and left everyone else to do their own thing behind me. It was glorious.
I should do that more often.
I guess the silver squiggles all over our costumes were our 'silver linings'. Funny how I never realized that until now...
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Your Comments
"Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like no one is watching."
--Satchel Paige
What a great motto to live by. And you have a memory of doing just that at least once in your life. I'm going to find and frame a picture of my 10yo daughter, when she was a little 3yo ballerina, so every time I look at it I'll remember your story & be inspired to "dance like no one is watching."
Hello! I am a new reader- I've seen your name on so many blogrolls, I just had to come check you out- and now I know why- you are just so fun to read.
I have a memory very simimlar to your ballet memory, although it was the only time I ever played pee-wee basketball. I was so pleased with myself for finally making a basket during a game, until i realised it was for the opposing team! So I'm totally with ya on the embarrassment mixed with the enjoyment of the moment thing ; )
precious. In my first recital I KNEW, or thought I did, a step and a more dominant personality thought the step was different and everyone followed her. I think it was the direction of the arabesque (that must be butchered) My photo has me arabesquing oposite of everyone else. Lovely. The one time I've held to my convictions....
I know Little Pink Cloud. She's been a little windblown lately, but it's good to see her again.
May will always be recital month - piano, choir, ballet. We had quite a social calendar for kids with no particular musical genius!
I will remind HolyMama that she has had at least a few other dance moments: Blue Christmas, in the kitchen. ABBA, also in the kitchen for some reason. Her 2 year old at the time was absolutely mortified, but we had a ball.
I love this post. Love it. Yes, remember that moment. Good for you.