1. Tonight is J-Mom's last night. She leaves in the morning, which means we'll be up all night talking and laughing and crying. She and HolySister and I eke out every last minute of a visit, every time, no matter how long the visit is.
2. This? Somehow I failed to mention that it was 100% unsolicited on my part. She just did it.
3. I'll be back to more regular blogging/visiting blogs soon.
4. I have a 6 Weird Things to do, which I'll get to soon.
5. Sometimes it's really, really inconvenient to have placed your life fully in God's hands.
WHY SUCH BLASPHEMY?!
Because sometimes you'll have in your head exactly why one thing is the right decision - for reasons like, 1 to 986 already, and then God will direct you to do EXACTLY the opposite. For NO apparent reason, and you'll HAVE TO, because of the whole 'obey God' thing you've got going on. And maybe you'll ask, "Hey, with all due respect, could you please clue me in on WHY?" And then maybe?! Maybe the answer will be "No. But do it anyway."
At those moments, y'all, it would be much more convenient if I were the one in control of my life, and if for 986 reasons a certain decision would be 'working out'. But you know, His ways are not my ways and all. Yo. Clearly. And that'd be the problem.
Geesh. (I know. It's an ugly, bratty moment in my spirituality. Glad I could share.)
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Your Comments
Enjoy the time with your mother and sister, Kelsey.
I understand the whole 1 to 986 thing too. Just remember that He is sovereign and... 'in all things works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.'
Hugs and prayers to you, Kelsey. :)
Someone sent me a poem that says it perfectly for me.
Dear Lord
So far today I have not been critical, angry, judgemental or angry. I have not said anything I should not have or done anything for which I would be ashamed. However, I must now get out of bed and start my day, so I will really need your help.
There is nothing we can throw at God he can't handle.
Love, your fellow born again brat.
Patrick
Ugh. I know what you mean. The Geek and I are dealing with one of those situations where what we think God is saying (though we're not 100% sure) is just crazy weird stupid if we look at it logically. Still trying to decide if we're going to chance it or not.
Why can't He just talk in a big loud booming voice like in the movies, huh? This still small voice stuff just makes things really difficult.
Yes, haven't we all shown that you are the only one who has this problem? :)
My problem isn't usually so much deciding to obey, it is three weeks later when nothing points to that decision being right and I wonder, "Hath God really said.....?"
Where is that ole snake anyway?
Thanks for sharing this. Been wondering what I've been feeling recently. And you helped me figure it out. I've been being a brat! God is leading one way but I was throwing a fit I couldn't go the other way. OUCH! I'll shut up, stop being a brat, and just get in line with HIM! Thanks for the reminder and the slap into reality!!! :-)
First of all, I'm so happy that you've had such a wonderful visit with your family. A huge blessing from God!
And I agree with your whole "obey God" thing. It would be so much easier if I could do what I wanted to do, for all those good reasons. But then I think about how really messed up I would be if I really had that control. So maybe giving God my whole life isn't such a bad thing after all...
I'll be praying for you!
You long-lost bratty sister in Christ,
Shalee
Oh dear heart, I too am having one of those bratty moments. Wick and I resigned our teaching jobs because we felt led to do so. But we don't have jobs for next year. Yes, it is four months away, but I am feeling sort of...well, panicky. *one* of us needs to get a job, so that if nothing else we can keep Frankie the pom in Alpo and Snausages.
As for the "why" part--I sooooo identify!
I know how you feel. Right now I'm stuck on Beth's "good doesn't always mean easy." At least in today's homework she did mention where the Bible says we will only suffer for a little while. The flip side of that is God's "a little while" and mine are sure to be polar opposites!
Hey! Fret not! I think God is tickled when we are blatently honest. It's not like we can hide anything from Him anyway!
On a similar note, my just recently saved friend asked me if being a Christian was like being schizophrenic...cuz she always seems to have this voice in her head (of course, I'm talking about the Holy Spirit) that tells her to do this or that. LOL! We laughed about that a good long while.
I don't think you're being bratty at all! I totally agree with Muley - Jesus calls us to radical obedience and he doesn't expect us to like it all the time. He wants us to be in relationship with Him. I don't know of any TRUE relationship that occurs without some conflict or at least a "hey, I'm not sure I like this"! I appreciate your honesty and God is big enough to handle the feelings that we express to him, positive, negative or in between!
You just have "ugly bratty moments"? I have ugly bratty hours........days......weeks.....!!
Sometimes we just need to get those feelings out, deal with them, and get on with what we have to do, like it or not.
Just like you know to expect to find the new roll of toilet paper on the floor instead of the dispenser occasionally, God made us, and He knows He'll have to wait on us to pout, rebel, bellyache, and then come around to HIS way of thinking sometimes. :)
He knew you before you were conceived in J-mom's womb, Kelsey. He is FAITHFUL and JUST to FORGIVE US. Me? I'm rotten, BUT HE LOVES ME IN SPITE OF MYSELF. He loves you, too, warts and all. :)
This, too, shall pass, Kelsey. :)
Loving you and praying for you. ;-)